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♥ Saturday, May 15, 2010

another trauma, & so what?

i know, i know.
i haven't been blogging for at least a month now.
& all my concerned friends are asking & pushing me to start blogging again.
but i don't really know where to start,
but i guess this can be a fresh start.

my facebook status on monday must have got a few friends worried.
am really sorry, but i am getting slightly better.
i must say, it's like a freak accident or something.
i was bending over, just a little.
& suddenly my spine/tailbone decides to snap, like a broken doll,
then i feel myself drop further with this extremely sharp pain.

when i got up standing straight, i was unable to bend anymore,
not to mention sit.
i was only able to stand & walk around a little.
that moment was so devastating, because i was unable to do anything at all.
like i wanted to pick something up that was just in front of me,
but it felt like i was attempting to pluck a star out from the sky.
it was that impossible.
it made me feel really useless on planet earth, you have no idea.

i don't know why, but i tend to experience events/incidents that most people do not get to.
maybe whoever up in the heaven wants me to experience the different things in life.
i don't know the purpose, but it surely made me more empathetic,
i put myself more in others' shoes.
but, the only thing i still question is,
will people do the same?
or will i be the one that just keep giving?

this isn't some drama you see where the lead role tells you,
you don't measure the amount you give & take.
of course i don't have a specific measurement for what's appropriate,
however, you can't help but to feel this way,
when the proportion is like heaven & earth.

before i end this post,
don't treat this as another negative thought or emo post.
because i actually think im quite an optimistic person,
considering the things i have gone through & the state i am in right now.

more than often i feel rather good hitting rock bottom in life,
because life can only gets better,
there's no way you can go even further with bad luck.

(:

& oh yes,
thanks to klifferd, ronald, qingfu, john, livia, donal, jacky, yixi & a few others that were here with me.
<3

Labels: life

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peishan; 101190; scorpio
ngee ann poly graduate; business studies

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